being in a situation where you cant really do anything and all you can do is just sit watch and pray , really ticks off your senses, Especially when its about a girl you’d think , ” Damn i suck, i cant even get close” or the likes , it just so happens this is what i experienced today, every single day i see this girl the only problem is i cant talk to her properly, she gets irritated when I’m near, i guess even the very existence i have irritates her , no matter what i do i even tried to be cautious on what i try to say but still it ends making her irritated. she’s someone that i had a relationship with from before , although it was not made official still i love her so much , Even now i still love her like my life depended on it. she thought i was just playing with her that lead us to be separated, and i admit it was entirely my fault not a single day that I’ve never regretted what happened .
i find myself in a crossroad of giving up and yet wanting to continue fighting , each day i feel more and more despaerate to get her back, the only problem is i dont know where to start, i cant even start a proper conversation with her without her getting irritated (maybe its my choice of words?), sometimes she just ignores me when i ask her questions like ” are you free ?” , ” can i walk you home?” or ” can i take you out on a date” and sometimes she just answers “it depends on my mood “, i cant really understand why shes like this , but i give my best and try to understand her, although part of me is jealous because i know she has someone special right now , and no matter what i do i know i’d still be a loser in the end but hey I LOVE Her so much the hell i care about the other guys , all that matters is that shes happy(i’m such a martyr ai’nt I?) I’m still trying to hold on, though the future of me and her getting back together is slim but i’d rather go with this chance than never , 1% chance is better than zero right ?
today, as usual i was just sitting next to her , and she was minding her own business, everytime i try to start a conversation she would just say ” Che” , ” dont talk to me” or just nod her head in a funny way , shes really cute when she does that . it hurts sometimes as i’m not really fond of us being like this, but theres nothing i can do about it , times change and people change , i just wish i could understand what she’s thingking better, i really enjoy her company even in these awkward situations. i just feel happy, contented , its the kind of feeling you could just be contented with , its like shes just everything you need , i really didnt knew how much of a treasure i had , till i lost it , every now and then i pray that ” god if you can hear me, i wish she could give me a second chance , this part really keeps repeating on my mind , how i wish just to be with her again , i wish we could get back to the days just like before , although i know its imposible but i beleive someday , she’ll come back (i hope) , for now i have to let her go if she comes back, shes mine if not may god bless her . i dont know if shes reading this but if she does , I’m sorry for everything , and i hope i still have a 2nd chance i love you .